Would anyone rate my poem?

The last two stanzas weaken this poem immensely, with their abstractions, and lack of concrete imagery. You had already been able to load the earlier stanzas with effective power that accomplished the same effects without having to blatantly state them, so it's a shame the form broke down at the end like it did. I'd heavily suggest rewriting the end to continue in the format preceding it, and possibly try to end with a single line, which might give it a solid, bitter-sweet note to end on. Up until the last two stanzas, it is quite good, and I'm not easily impressed. (I just rated a poem by saying it was glurge-ridden and plagued with cliches, while everyone else was ranting about it.)